Almost each and every one of us has lost someone dear to us at some point in our lives. Whether it was a sibling or a parent, an aunt, uncle, nephew or your favorite niece, a grandparent or even a spouse, we have all fell prey to the grasp of grief.

Nothing prepares us for the death of a loved one however it is the way in which we mourn their loss which distinguishes cultures, traditions and customs and it is during that time of mourning that relationships are made, restored or strengthened especially in PNG.

The most common realities that all humans share start from the moment we are born to when we are growing up to getting old and finally dying. The way of doing things however vary from province to province among the diverse cultures.

Deaths in PNG are always believed to be non-accidental or unnatural but rather the majority are linked to superstition.

Questions of medical reasons as to why the person who died did like was it a heart attack or was it because of smoking, an accident or underlying medical conditions are far from the minds of the deceased’s relative.

Moreover, the question of “what” caused the death will seem non-existent in the deceased’s relative but the question of “who” caused the death resonates deafeningly.

What’s more is that when the death becomes that of a significant person in the community, their body is examined for any signs of irregularities and the verdict is discussed thoroughly within the family retracing all the events leading up to persons death.

As soon as this process is complete, names of possible suspects are identified and a “glass-man” or “glass-meri” is sometimes hired to find out who was responsible for the death.

Unlike in the past, today’s belief of sorcery and violence and death related to sorcery accusations are higher than ever.

Beliefs like offending the spirits by something a person did or did not (to please the ancestors) were the main reasons why a person suffered his or her demise.

Women who gave birth to a baby with an obvious abnormality or experienced a stillbirth was questioned what she did wrong to bring a curse upon her.

When it comes to mourning the dead in PNG, it is unique in each province, tribe or clan but one thing is certain.

However, the bond between those living and the one who died and the relationship between those who lost a loved one and those who come to show their emotional support however become stronger than ever.

The different ways in which they show their mourning also strengthens the bereaved family members and the relatives of those who come to show and bring support.

In Papua New Guinea, the morning ceremony or what is more commonly known to us the locals as “hauskrai” is practiced all over the country in many ways but still under the same name.

It is during the hauskrai that friends and family unashamedly show their loss by crying, wailing, pulling their hair off, and smearing clay on their bodies, their faces and their clothing.

Those outward actions show the depth of their loss and the intensity and duration of their mourning clearly show that people really do treasure their relationships.

 It is not enough that the immediate family be the only ones during the hauskrai. Extended families from different provinces flock to mourn for their lost relative. Even neighbors and friends are expected to be there.

Unlike Western parts where the loss of a loved one is shown by wearing black and most men do not cry, it is quite the contrary as eyebrows will be raised as one might just end up being on the list of suspects.

With much hope, our people can see to a more understanding and accepting death of a loved one and may hopefully have access to basic education to reduce the belief in superstitious activities that causes death.

Amanda Kundil

Melanesian Institute